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Joke of the Day

"When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?' is unwise, apparently."

"What do you call an average ogre? Mediogre."

"Why was the comic book series depressed? Because it had too many issues."

"If the Hulk worked in the produce section of Kroger... would he be a Green Grocer?"

"How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? (Polish version)(NSFW) Wipe your dick on the window curtains."

"Like ""dollar,"" ""euro"" is not capitalized. Unlike a dollar, a euro can actually buy you something."

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Wrong size. Should have bought from Zappos. (Note: original story reference here - it wasn't Hemingway: http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/babyshoes.asp)"

"I wasn't going to buy Thrift Shop on iTunes... But it was .99 cents!"

"cow: where does milk come from? me: *laughs* cow: *laughs* farmer: *laughs* milk man: *laughs* everyone: *laughs* cow: but no, seriously."

"Her: I do. And that marks the last time she ever agreed with me."