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Joke of the Day

"Caesar tried to run when the senate came after him... but his leg muscles couldn't carry him fast enough. As he fell to the ground he cried out ""Et tu, glutes!"""

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""

"I love the word ""Allegedly"". You can make up anything about anyone without any reprisal... allegedly."

"How do nuns surf the web? On the Hymnternet."

"*Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet."

"FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties By adding a new definition for ""botched"" to urban dictionary; successful"

"What's it called when you hit somebody with sodium chloride? Assalt"

"Why did Bill Gates get sick? Because he left the Windows open."

"I appreciate when aerobic instructors say ""Don't forget to breathe"" because I sometimes forget and then I die."

"How are men like fuses? Once they're blown, they're useless."