32944

Joke of the Day

"Where did Santa meet his wife? Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses"

"Why do we measure snakes in inches? Because they don't have any feet!"

"I've got a chicken proof lawn It's impeccable"

"I needed to burn some calories... so I set a fat kid on fire"

"We have a local weatherman who often forecasts ""changeable skies."" He makes a lot of money to make that call."

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge? *""I set* ***who*** *free?""*"

"Why was Beethoven making a lot of money? His property was Fur Elise"

"A farmer filled his truck with onions, but he crashed on the interstate. All his onions were smushed and ruined. The farmer was on the brink of crying."

"CHILLING WITH ESKIMOS Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice? A. Polaroids."

"When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport? Ten-ish."