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Joke of the Day

"A farmer filled his truck with onions, but he crashed on the interstate. All his onions were smushed and ruined. The farmer was on the brink of crying."

"What the difference between woman and man? A man has always the same penis between his legs."

"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places... ...My doctor told me to stay away from those places."

"Never trust somebody with a degree in child psychology to cut your kid's hair. They're therapists who'll groom your children."

"When a Vietnamese person has the same first and last name... It's a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"What do chemists make guacamole out of? Avogadros"

"Just watched a girl choke on her food and this can only mean one thing, she forgot to take a picture of it first and post it on her FB wall."

"Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic."

"Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi? Because attachments are forbidden."

"I bet you haven't heard of this new movie Constipation... ...it hasn't come out yet."