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Joke of the Day

"I needed to burn some calories... so I set a fat kid on fire"

"Why was the sacajawea coin made? because the Trail Of Tears had a toll booth."

"What do you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)"

"I don't get computer-related jokes. ..not even a bit."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""That's not funny."""

"My boss told me that if I can't show up sober then don't bother coming to work tomorrow. Three day weekend!"

"Melania Trump says her husband is ""not Hitler."" That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands."

"[tour of zoo] kid: ""i think its a elephant"" me: ""are you giving the tour"" kid: me: ""anyway as i was saying this is the big snake face thing"""

"you got to be fast to make it in advertising kid. gotta be snappy. gotta be clever. how would you sell a car? thats right: titties"

"Why do the models on the catwalks always look so angry? I would have been very happy to get paid to just walk around in fancy clothes."