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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged."

"What did the boner say to the olympic swimmer? Dont be so Hard-on yourself the embarassment will only last a few months!"

"The older I get, the more I relate to those angry elderly people who go around biting others."

"I'm addicted to Halloween! Nobody seems to know how to ""treat"" it"

"I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus."

"If you are cold just stand in a corner They are usually around 90 degrees"

"dad, we have ants on the counter! Hey, some of them are uncles, moms, and dads. (Thanks dad)"

"Isn't it weird how something that's used as PUNISHMENT as a child becomes a sexual act once we're older? Like oral sex."

"honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary"

"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"