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Joke of the Day

"How to enjoy babies: 1 Hold them 2 Kiss them 3 Hand them back to their mom 4 Go have drinks with grown ups 5 Laugh about not having a baby"

"I keep getting scolded for things I didn't do! ""What didn't you do?"" ""My homework"""

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"Ex (trying to make me jealous): I'm going to a party, everyone's drinking, laughing, and having fun! Me: that'll all stop once you show up"

"Free air! (Help yourself.)"

"Next on CNN, 600 hours of guessing what happened to a plane."

"If I were Russian I'd be Vladimir Poopin"

"Theirye're, problem solved."

"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"

"Only 1 in 6 Americans can find Ukraine on a map... Putin is fixing the issue by just calling it all ""Russia""."