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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the University of Miami fullback who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?"

"They say nothing in life that's worth having comes easily. Guess I'm really lucky to have my wife."

"How do you know an angle is dead? When it shows no vital sines"

"My gangsta career was brought to an abrupt and tragic end when my homies caught me sipping on a frappucino doing my taxes"

"i sold all my lizards to buy my girlfriend a Toyota Tundra but she sold her drivers license to buy me a awesome obstacle course for lizards"

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at the school? He woke up."

"I cut my little finger today... ... because I didn't like the way it looked."

"Which Nordic country should you never be a part of? Finland. Once you're a citizen, that's it! You're Finnish! It's over."

"My boss wrote accidently wrote ""Pantera"" instead of ""Panera"" and now I'm dressed really inappropriately for this business lunch."

"I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway."