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Joke of the Day

"Millennial Moses: Just, let my people go or whatev- hang on I'm getting a text."

"Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible."

"Cake is better than sex because cavities are better than babies"

"What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers."

"My neighbor crashed her car while listening to Adele. She went rolling in the Jeep"

"What's the difference between a waterproofer and a porn star? Eventually, a waterproofer stops coming home with cock all over them. Forgive my accent, I meant caulk. (My first waterproofing joke)"

"I dont make typos. I make new words."

"I've met many Richards... However, some of them are Dicks."

"Did you hear about the group of people who stole a dozen boxes of Viagra? Police are looking for hardened criminals."

"Fat goths are morbidly obese."