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Joke of the Day

"Did you ever think about ten years ago you'd be saying.. ""I really hope this is a chick I'm talking to""."

"Ever have to pee SO bad that you're surprised that what comes out isn't mostly blood?"

"How many men does it take to fix a women's watch? Why does she need a watch? There is a clock on the oven!"

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus got a new job? Coworkers say she has an excellent Twerk ethic"

"What do you give an injured alligator? Gatorade"

"Rules for rap battling Eminem: 1. Do not let Eminem go first. 2. Do not let Eminem go second."

"5-year-old: Dad, can you make the rain go away? Me: Someone more powerful than me controls the weather. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Mom?"

"took a girl to starbucks because i forgot her name"

"[NSFW] My priest told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why?"" He told me, ""The confessional is getting all sticky."""

"If humans have politics, then what do bees have? POLLENtics"