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Joke of the Day

"An entire generation does not know what the hell is happening when a movie pans over to a wall calendar and the pages magically fly away."

"What do you call an army of corn? The Musket - ears"

"What do you call a black man flying a plane A pilot, what're you racist?"

"""ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!"" I scream to my dogs as they all watch me trip, run into the coffee table and spill my coffee all over myself."

"My boyfriend just sent me a txt: 'I think I want to see other people.' My reply was, 'You better look out the window.'"

"My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30am! Can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums."

"Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!"

"What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane ? A dandy lion !"

"New slogan for cats: ""Ever go to the zoo and want to snuggle a tiger but don't want to die? Cats."""

"Y'all are gonna be sorry when I figure out how to breed spiders and bees and my army of ""spees"" is stingin' and bitin' you and shit"