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Joke of the Day

"Y'all are gonna be sorry when I figure out how to breed spiders and bees and my army of ""spees"" is stingin' and bitin' you and shit"

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards? A receding HARE line!"

"The place I store my loud elf Shhh elf"

"How do you know your friends are pleased with your Facebook post? They like it!"

"What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it"

"I like my girls like my nails Hammered"

"What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common? Reclaiming black bodies."

"I remember when I stayed with my girlfriend and her parents for the first time, and her dad wouldnt let us sleep together Which is a shame, because he's quite attractive"

"What is ISIS's favorite kind of coffee? Decapitated"