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Joke of the Day

"What small plant is used in war? The millitree."

"I went to Prague recently... I had a really good time. You should Czech it out."

"I wish I had a job. That way I could spend all day tweeting when I should be working."

"Damn girl, you give people cancer. Because you're shining like the sun."

"Did you hear about the 3 holes in the ground? Well, well, well."

"I like my women like I like my cigarettes, slowly killing me in packs of 20 or more"

"What does a horny gay rooster say in the morning? ""Any-cock'll-doooooo!"""

"Whats the difference between Donald Trump and a Vacuum? Nothing. Both are really loud, and full of shit."

"Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes."

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."