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Joke of the Day

"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"

"How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility? She's the one with dirty knees."

"I prefer Protestant orange juice to Catholic orange juice... It's Pulp-free"

"Just been confronted by my next door neighbour, apparently there's been items going missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants!"

"Malaria kills a child every two seconds in Africa... Somebody should arrest that guy."

"Why don't rabbits make any noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls"

"With this new winter storm on the way, it looks like Boston is going to get hammered again. They'll also be getting snow too."

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."

"Why did the pirate's rap song become such a hit? The bass was pegged, his hook was just right, and it made all the girls shake they booty."

"If I wake up early, it's only because there are a lot of things I want to eat that day."