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Joke of the Day

"United Airlines just tried to charge me $25 for the bags under my eyes."

Next Joke
 
"How to tell if someone doesn't crossfit"
"Calling 911 Hello 911 I'd like to report murder, this bitch killed my vibe"
"A few redditors wake up in hell. A few less reposts."
"How did the hipster burn his fingertips? He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. [rimshot]"
"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night: I'm not letting you out."
"Why did the kittens turn atheist? Coz their eyes opened."
"So I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should've put it on Aloha temperature."
"We should've cremated Michael Jackson in case of the zombie apocalypse or else people will think they're part of a Thriller flash mob"
"What did the redneck say when he lost his virginity? Thanks mum xD"