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Joke of the Day

"The sequel to Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is just a series of horrified people finding parts of missing kids in their chocolate bars"

"I thought the big NYC ball was mechanically operated but I guess not. I heard Mariah Carey dropped it last night during her performance."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar... One was a salted."

"Q: What do you call a snail on a ship? A: A snailor."

"What does the grim reaper and a pedophile have in common? They both take people before their time."

"I was told I was addicted to cocaine, but I can assure you I am definitely not. I just love the way it smells."

"My first time having sex... ...was fucking shit."

"The doctors say I suffer from insanity, but they have it all wrong. I enjoy every minute of it."

"I've never wished death on anyone. It's the absolute *last* thing anyone should have to go through."

"Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. *(I'm sorry)*"