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Joke of the Day

"I've never wished death on anyone. It's the absolute *last* thing anyone should have to go through."

Next Joke
 
"Me: Real women don't care about romantic cliches. My internal voice: Please buy me flowers, please buy me flowers, please buy me flowers."
"What's the hardest Olympic sport to master? Hurdling. There are a lot of obstacles on the way, and it's hard to get a leg up on the competition."
"My wife has been binge watching episodes of snapped, so I cancelled my life insurance policy, and haven't slept or eaten in days."
"MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, ""Bath time."" DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids"
"""I V E M U R D E R E D S E V E N P E O P L E"" would be a fun eye chart for a doctor to have"
"So Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle is being investigated for child pornography I guess he really did want to ""eat fresh"""
"""Fuck unions!"" he furiously typed... On his day off."
"Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th. ""Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."""
"When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps."
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