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Joke of the Day

"I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses."

"Why did a hungry African man crossed the road? To get the aids."

"The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads."

"[God creating hairless cats] How about some foreskin with night vision."

"Why do cows need four legs to walk? Because they lactose. Moo"

"On a scale of Alligator to Gorilla.... How shitty of a parent are you?"

"Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap."

"What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ? Speaking Latin !"

"What kind of khakis do birds wear? Khakaws!"

"Tommy went to his mom in the kitchen and said: 'Mom! Mom! The dog is having sex!' So mom says: 'Try not to pay attention to it, sweetheart.' to which Tommy responds: 'But it hurts so much!'"