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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes you have to stop tweeting to have an alibi for ignoring texts."

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"Ronaldo shot so powerful It created a hurricane"
"Why did the mom cry as her baby Richard became older? Her little Dick was growing."
"One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is."
"thought being on acid at ikea would be scary but it was fine and i told people who walked the wrong way ""there are arrows here to guide you"""
"The best revenge is living well, unless you own a flamethrower."
"A caveman mathematician drops his glasses... All he says is secant"
"What do elderly zombies crave? BRAAAAAAAAAAAAANS"
"How many books can a blind man read? Brailly any!"
"How do you get dragon pee? Drop your catheter bag."