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Joke of the Day

"thought being on acid at ikea would be scary but it was fine and i told people who walked the wrong way ""there are arrows here to guide you"""

"Two Irish men talking. - I saw my girlfriend going to the movies with another guy the other night. - Oh my god. Did you follow them? - No. - Why not? - I had watched the movie before."

"Masturbation should be considered a craft... as it is 100% hand made."

"Trump is in good company, coining words just like Shakespeare. The two even share their feelings about foreigners. I mean Shakespeare *coined* the word chink."

"[Sees restaurant is packed] *Pays hostess $20 to read note* ""Attn patrons there is a vintage yard sale across the street"" *Hipsters clear*"

"A man was killed with a starter pistol today Police think it might have been race related."

"The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin."

"What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a"

"Today in biology class we learnt about all the health problems related to cigarettes Thank god I switched to crack last week"

"Mayweather remains unbeaten Unlike his ex-girlfriends."