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Joke of the Day

"Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?"

"NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil."

"I love the F5 key. It s just so refreshing."

"Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play ...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~."

"The doctors found a malignant tumor at my checkup the other day... It's really starting to grow on me"

"There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer."

"What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink? Picardi and coke"

"I'm capable of having female friends. We can totally snuggle naked and I won't try anything funny."

"This Valentines Day, I want to really surprise my wife. So I'm gonna introduce her to my girlfriend."

"Weird, it almost feels like the drive thru workers at McDonald's are being more judgemental of my choices than I am of theirs."