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Joke of the Day

"There is a special place for people who leave long voicemails, but until the ground thaws, they stay in the freezer."

"I've been told the best humour is self deprecating. But I'm rubbish at it."

"Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?"

"Do you think Dr. Seuss' wife liked to be called Ma? Because if so she would be a Ma Seuss."

"Disappointed in the Baja Men for never writing a song about putting the dogs back in."

"Picking up someone at a bar when you're drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn't want."

"What's a math teacher's favorite TV show? Sinefeld"

"I think the real reason men don't lactate is because we would just be irresponsible and squirt each other with it."

"I had to figure out what to do, to avoid a truck that had run a red light ... ... when suddenly I realized why the baseball had been getting bigger."

"[OFFENSIVE] How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw... (Heard this one the other day from a friend, and thought I might share it here. :P)"