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Joke of the Day
"How does an octopus go to war ? Well-armed !"
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"An Irish guy walks into a bar... A few hours later he goes home and beats his wife into a coma."
"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"
"What do you call a missing psychic midget? A small medium at large."
"I didn't actually read the article but I did leave it open on my browser for 30 min, so I think I'm qualified to weigh in."
"Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious."
"Me: I hit the ejector seat and sent her through the roof by accident Cop: you're under arrest. I'm taking you to jail Me: let's take my car"
"Bad advice to a suicidal person Hang in there"
"If you ain't Muslim... ....you ain't Shiite"
"I started playing water polo the other day It was all fun and games until my horse drowned"