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Joke of the Day

"How did the butcher cure cancer? With salt."

"What does relative humidity mean to a redneck? The sweat that forms on your nuts when you're banging your sister."

"Bill Joe Armstrong (From Greenday) was walking down the street. A girl walked past him and said ""Wow, you smell amazing."" He replied: ""That's because I wore cologne, I wore cologne."""

"Say what you will about human beings, but we did invent ice cream."

"[12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!"

"What did the topic sentence say to the evidence? Why aren't you supporting me?"

"Date me? You can't afford the maintenance to keep me. Vodka, high heels, steak, shiny clothes, tonic, Victoria's Secret, and bail money."

"Hey billy jokes? Need some more Billy & Highliner Jokes. One is ""Hey billy you ever been to sea"" ""No Captain Highliner but I have been blown ashore"""

"7yr old ""Do women get their periods on weekends too?"" Me ""Yes"" 7yr old mutters to herself ""Jesus Christ"""

"You know the difference between Sadistic and Masochistic? No one has ever called me a masochistic son of a bitch."