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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about human beings, but we did invent ice cream."

"Behind every successful man is a woman. This game of hide and seek has been going on for too long..."

"Screw you recommended serving size. You don't know me."

"To all of you that have overcome Fatboy Slim addiction.... I have to praise you"

"Crayola is now doing its color testing on manatees and peta is pissed. Oh The Hue Manatee!"

"Give a teen a basketball and he would have fun for a day Give a blind man a basketball and he would read it like a book"

"It's 2014 and somehow we still don't have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are."

"Little Girl: mom, I want to be an alligator when I grow up Mom: well, pick one. You can't be...acghhghh! Stop eating me! Aghhghhh...ah..a...bleh."

"Taco Bell is planning on doubling the 'meat' in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they're informing us in advance."

"If I had a Nickel for every terrible Canadian rock band, I know I'd at least get a Nickelback. I'll let myself out."