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Joke of the Day

"Walked into a very expensive restaurant, sat down, was handed a menu. Comic Sans. Got up and left. Life is hard."

"Why is milk the fastest liquid on the planet? It's pasteurised before you can see it!"

"How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term? Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office."

"why did god make girls so stupid? so that they would love boys"

"What did the alcoholic say to the bartender? ""You know, I only beat my wife once in a Blue Moon."

"Where did the burgers go after their wedding? On a bun-eymoon!"

"You're an embarrassment to the human race. What are you doing later?"

"The only time my wife will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER"" is when they are lowering my casket into the ground"

"The first question aliens will ask our leaders is why that peanut is wearing a top hat and monocle."

"Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party? Because he always brings the boos"