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Joke of the Day

"New Bike Shop A registered sex offender just moved into my neighborhood. He opened up a bicycle shop called Pedal-Feelya."

"Never pee with the door open, it totally freaks out the other motorists."

"What animal has the tendency to be a half-ass A mule"

"When people use the wrong homonyms it irritates me I know the pane, I've been their before."

"What do you call a galaxy full of Brazilians? The Milky Hue."

"Two of my favourite moments in my life were when I won my first fight and lost my virginity I hit him so hard he slept through the whole thing"

"I hear voices in my head sometimes. I just ignore them and keep killing people."

"What did the fucking zombie say? Crack whores."

"I Messed up a Customer's Sandwich Order Today... Oh shit, nevermind, wrong sub"

"How do you get Americans to join a World War? Tell them it's nearly finished."