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Joke of the Day

"You know why cannibals don't eat divorced women? They're bitter. Garrison Keillor"

"Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit on."

"Do you want to hear a dirty, heavy, wet joke? Elephant in the mud. I'll see myself out."

"*being pulled away by security from flamingo pen at the zoo with a handful of pink feathers and a black eye* HE STARTED IT"

"When my new neighbor dies, I'm going to hire the same tree removal service he has outside my window right now to work during his burial."

"I told the butcher I'd give him $10 if he got the meat down off the top shelf. He said he couldn't.... the steaks were too high."

"Do you know the biggest difference between Mexico and China? China paid for it's wall."

"I've already received over 150 RSVPs to my Halloween Shindig... It's going to be a Monster Party."

"If you believe in God, yet you can't believe it's not butter, then your faith needs to get its damn priorities straight."

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me how i view lesbian relationships Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer. :/"