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Joke of the Day

"I was having trouble starting my Venn Diagram... But now it's all coming together."

"CPR is a lot like church... CPR is a lot like church: you go up, down, up, down, up, down. The only difference is that you don't get snacks in CPR."

"Did you hear about the HVAC technicians who got into an argument? At first it was heated, but they got some fresh air then things cooled off"

"Expecting an idiot to admit they're wrong feels a lot like trying to put socks on an octopus."

"If you beep your horn .004 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off the car, lay on the hood and feed the birds for an hour."

"It must be really expensive to be in a lesbian relationship, they eat out all the time."

"How many Feminists does it take to change a Light Bulb? Two - One to change the Bulb and one to Blow Me"

"What makes an ISIS joke funny? The execution."

"I wish my grass was emo..... So it would cut itself"

"Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep"