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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure what gender fluid is... ...but it sounds like it's tough to get out of upholstery."

"My friend is addicted to Time-Travelling But he reckons he can stop at any time."

"If you got a butcher who is 6'2, what does he weigh? Meat."

"Why did Night fall? Because Day tripped him."

"One thing I like about Facebook... It's my space."

"If I did the math right, 8 of you are serial killers and 1,246 of you are eating Nutella."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus & Michael Jackson? one comes when children dream & the other dreams of children coming*."

"Death is like a chance to fuck in high school or college If you find out how it was close - you will be surprised."

"My friend got a spider in his eye... Now he has a website."

"The way I see it, each lap I make around Costco's frozen food section should work off each sample I get from the ice cream sandwich lady."