50787

Joke of the Day

"Death is like a chance to fuck in high school or college If you find out how it was close - you will be surprised."

"Pope Innocent is an oxymoron"

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds Poor bastard"

"None of my Barbies are speaking to each other because Ken got Skipper pregnant again. You can imagine the tension in my house tonight."

"What time of day is the saddest? The mourning"

"*calls wife into the bedroom* *dims the lights* *turns on Marvin Gaye* *sexily sweeps toddler's collection of trucks off the bed*"

"Does Axe make a spray that smells like one of those soft pretzel stores at the mall? I'd use that daily."

"What do you call a blind person who can't find his/her glasses? Eyeronic."

"IF SIMBA COULD GROW TO THE SIZE OF A HEALTHY ADULT LION EATING BUGS THEN SO CAN I"

"Garcinia Cambogia."