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Joke of the Day

"The Harambe memes need to stop It's very de-meme-ing."

"[puts a tub of Blue Bell in the cart] Ma'am, did you hear there was a recall? That could be deadly. [slowly puts second tub in cart]"

"What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day"

"I put suicide notes next to roadkill so their animal families have some closure"

"Damn it mom. Boy: Mom do I look good? Mom: Ask your girlfriend. Boy: I don't have a girlfriend. edit: ."

"I have a photographer's memory Or is it photographic? I always forget."

"If babies wouldn't cry.. ..there would be no need for fleshlights."

"What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles? The fire department."

"What happens to male anarchists as they get older? They go from having anti-state issues to having prostate issues."

"How are Roman Polanski and pimples similar? Both cum on your face when you're 13. How are Roman Polanski and body hair similar? Both cum on your ass when you're 13."