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Joke of the Day

"Polish Joke anyone? Knock, knock. Who's there? A Polish burgular."

"I'm getting an MRI tomorrow... to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic."

"Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime. Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men."

"this beer contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause ice cold refreshment"

"Actually, I'd rather you shut your talk-hole, not your pie-hole. If you have a hole that gives pie, I'm going in there, because HELLO PIE."

"An economist was given the choice between participating in a marathon and just a quick race. He preferred the long run over the short run."

"Where do Irish people go for breakfast? Drunkin Donuts"

"What's the difference between a Bitch and a Slut? A Slut fucks everyone. A Bitch fucks everyone but you."

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."

"What do Mathematicians use to fry their food? Euler butter."