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Joke of the Day

"this beer contains chemicals known to the state of california to cause ice cold refreshment"

"My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song ""The Wheels on the Bus"""

"Found out a guy I dated was in jail for attempted murder. He never even tried to take me camping, I'm not even good enough to kill."

"Why is there no Mexican olympics? Because everyone that can swim, run and jump is already across the border."

"Did you hear about that African-Asian summit? Apparently it was a black-thai do."

"Why did Moses lead the Jews around the desert for 40 years? Because someone dropped a quarter."

"People Magazine sounds like something aliens pretending to be humans would call their magazine."

"The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs"

"I just found out my mum didn't know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in"

"[couch shopping] Wife: Eh, you married to it? *a bead of sweat trickles down my brow as I hope she doesn't notices the couch's wedding ring*"