31300

Joke of the Day

"Where do guys go when they want to get their penis sized and fitted? The Cocktailor."

"Florist: ""Would you like your flowers wrapped?"" Me: ""Nope, they're going right into the shredder before I give them to my sister-in-law."""

"Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle? To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs."

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"[OC] What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January? Genu[w]ine."

"History has forgotten the name of the man that invented the ""Lazy Susan"", but it conveniently still remembers the name of his ex-wife."

"I went to a cemetery today. The entire time I was there my phone didn't have any service. I must have been in a dead zone."

"What's a muslim's favourite game? Goat Stimulator"

"My wife asked me today if I would ever cheat on her. I replied, ""Who else would I cheat on?"""

"Wipes away your tears using three precise karate chops."