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Joke of the Day

"What's the best insult you can tell someone?"

"What do you call a woman who will sleep with absolutely anybody? Public storage."

"Today I was walking past a car filled with black people and they locked the door when I got close. I felt like a badass until I realized that it was my car."

"I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out"

"Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes!"

"The interviewer asked me, ""What's your worst quality?"" I said, ""I tend to speak my mind."" He said, ""I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing..."" I said, ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"911: What's your emergency? Me: I need several Ambuli stat! 911: Ambuli? Me: Yea plural for Ambulance 911: No its not Me: It should be"

"Hey, did you hear that Bill Cosby is writing classical music? I just heard his latest piece called, ""Quaa De Lude""."

"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold and bitter"

"What is it called when Al Gore comes up with a solution to a problem? An Al-Gore-ithm. I'll see myself out."