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Joke of the Day

"Hey, did you hear that Bill Cosby is writing classical music? I just heard his latest piece called, ""Quaa De Lude""."

"Autocorrect changed ""you flatter me"" to ""you flatten me"" and shit just got really weird."

"Ebola causes nausea, headaches and is hard to get rid of. Is it a disease or a U2 album?"

"Did you hear the joke about the alarm? No? It doesn't ring a bell?"

"[me narrating a documentary on urchins] ""look at these boring moist porcupines"""

"I love it when I go to untie a shoe and inadvertently tie a Double Reverse Hitch knot and have to hire an Eagle Scout to get my sneaker off."

"My mum's sister always builds up jokes and then the punch lines turn out to be shit. Auntie Climax."

"Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

"Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement? He's taking another stab at it."

"I've gone unverified for 5,000 years. Why change now?"