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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars."
Next Joke
"It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone"
"""Wow, this toilet is really uncomfortable..."" ~Me drunk in the hot tub as my guests throw themselves out"
"Haven't been sleeping well, which is ridiculous cuz I have decades of experience"
"I have no respect for paedophiles... ... they're fucking immature assholes."
"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""
"You know what they say? Once you go white, you'll rob the world of it's resources and murder indigenous peoples."
"[cats on a date in a fancy restaurant] Male: I can't decide if I want tuna or the salmon. Female: *Slowly pushes pepper shaker off table"
"A cheeseburger walks into the bar... And the bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve food here."" Sorry"