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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""

"Sorry I'm late, I was staring at a picture of the Ninja Turtles for an hour trying to figure out why they always wear belts with no pants."

"What is black and white and red all over? A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn."

"I like when you see a guy with a beard and you can immediately tell he's fashioned his entire thing/vibe/life around having that beard."

"me [filing a claim with the insurance company after the basement flooded] We had a pony down there too"

"Why do Trans people hate the former Soviet Republics? [Fucking CIS scum.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Independent_States)"

"Charm me with your beauty and intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here."

"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

"If you think your job tires you... ...try working for Goodyear"