3102

Joke of the Day

"May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean"

"Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. ""Why's that?"" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog."

"God and Lazarus God said to Lazarus, ""Come forth, and receive eternal life!"" However, Lazarus came fifth and received a toaster."

"How many Heros does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All, to save this world from the darkness."

"How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away."

"There are so many people outside, and so much yelling, and I genuinely genuinely don't know if it's a murder or a rare Pokemon."

"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."

"Him: I'm heading to the gym Me: I'm heading to the fridge"

"Someone told me testimony is unreliable I don't believe them."

"Why did the console player cross the road? To get the game 6 months earlier"