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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about the dyslexic man who went to the toga party? They wouldn't let him in because he showed up dressed as a goat."

"What did the vinaigrette say to the refrigerator? Close the door! I'm dressing!"

"Why did Alexander Graham Bell never receive a nobel prize? Because it's a ""no bell"" prize."

"What do boxes breathe? Boxygen"

"Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead."

"It's perfectly fine to offer raisins to a guest (if nuclear winter is upon us & you're living in an underground bunker)"

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

"What do you call a witch who only eats sand? Malnourished."

"Donald Trump says he'll be more presidential from now on No Juan believes that!"

"It's a shame that most things aren't pies. More things should be pies."