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Joke of the Day

"I held the door open for a clown. It was a nice jester."

"You say ""bed."" I say ""horizontal worry pod of nocturnal overanalysis."" Let's not get caught up in semantics."

"When Jesus was crucified, what was the cause of death? Cross Contamination"

"My website wouldn't show up, so i had to reload it you can say it was pretty refreshing"

"A man walks into a bar. He goes ""I really shouldn't be walking through a building site"" and leaves."

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer. I'm not sure what they're laced with, but I've been tripping all day."

"I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore... They seem to prefer the label ""alt-write"" nowadays."

"I'm trying to make out with my gf tonight without sucess. Any activity subjection? Not movies."

"My mind says ""no"" but my heart says ""yes"", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud"

"I've got to go pick up my dog... I've got to go pick up my dog. Why? His car in the shop? No he had his license revoked... What for? Unpaid barking tickets."