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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a witch who only eats sand? Malnourished."
Next Joke
"Sheryl Crow: This ain't no disco. This ain't no country club either. Sheryl Crow - The world's worst archaeologist."
"A man comes home to his wife ""honey,"" he says, ""pack your bags. I just won the lottery!"" ""That's amazing! What should I pack?"" ""I don't care. Just pack your bags and get the fuck out of here."""
"[Food Network: Cake Wars] As the team barely delivers their massive cake to the judges table. Cat Judge pushes it off the table"
"ME: [practising my samurai sword moves in the mirror] [ever so slightly later] ME: [dying from massive blood loss]"
"I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes."
"What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife? Let's grow MOLD together!"
"What's the number for poison control? Dancing With the Stars is on and I need to make sure this will be enough."
"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""
"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fcuk me the pass the parcel was quick!"