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Joke of the Day

"If you think vests come in 2 different styles Bullet proof and suicide, you may be muslim"

"If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I'd probably do something super crazy, like loiter."

"#IAmHonoredBy my 12 year old telling me he needs me. He wanted a new gadget of course but the thought was there."

"TIFU by sending my nudes to everyone in my address book Cost me a fortune in stamps"

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it."

"Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner? J. Robert Moppenheimer"

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"A kiss makes my day. Anal makes my hole weak."

"Why doesn't the deaf have sex? They haven't heard about it."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? *long pause* ding-dong ditch."