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Joke of the Day

"A soldier was assaulted with pepper spray and mustard gas. He returned home a seasoned veteran."

"What if the Government invented cheese to distract us from reality? *gets arrested*"

"What is Batman's least favorite Sex Act? The Pearl Necklace."

"Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up."

"What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance"

"A guy goes to the doctor Doctor: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating. Guy: Really, doc?! Like, forever? Doctor: No, just for a few minutes, so I can examine you."

"Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?"

"Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot? He didn't like dealing with reservations."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar... ..."

"I don't go on Facebook much so Dave, if you're seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year's party, hope you had fun dude."