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Joke of the Day

"How do men define a ""50/50"" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle."

"I hate being bipolar, it's great"

"Do you know whats black on the bottom and white on top? Society"

"TIFU by forgetting that today is Fathers day But it's actually on the 21st...soooo"

"Me with megaphone: ""COME DOWN FROM THERE. YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR."" Man: ""I'm fixing your roof tiles, remember?"" Me: ""I FORGOT!"""

"If it exists behind a paywall, does it really exist?"

"Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look! Folsom: You couldn't be!"

"I went to Lowe's to buy a human-sized microwave & the guy loudly said they don't exist & then took me to a back room & they had lots of them"

"Now responding to all ""hello"" DMs with ""Adele?"""

"Whenever I see an unsecured WiFi, I just assume it's owned by a chimpanzee sitting in a room and hitting a keyboard with a hammer."