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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !"

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"My wife set up a spycam and found out my sons ""speech impediment"" was from 5 years of me talking to him in Borat voice while she was at work"
"In China the labels read, ""Made by someone you know."""
"When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape."
"Why have they created sweet tampons? for sour puss(ys)"
"Don't forget to wish that one bottle of salad dressing in your fridge a happy 2nd birthday!"
"My girlfriend broke up with me after I said she's half the person I am... I weigh 240 pounds, not sure why she got so mad."
"I think I better go play the lottery because I just correctly plugged in a USB cord on the first try."
"What's the best part of living in Alabama? You don't live in Mississippi."
"Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely, I write a letter to a prison inmate to tell them how much better my life is than theirs."