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Joke of the Day

"If you lost your needle in a haystack then I don't think you were responsible enough to have had a needle in the first place. Needle loser."

"Starve a cold. Feed a fever. Humiliate a rash. Flatter a migraine. Friendzone diarrhea. Date cramps. Bring anxiety home to meet the family."

"WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer."

"Who's this ""moderation"" people keep telling me to drink with?"

"What does a mathematician do about constipation? Sits down and works it out with a pencil."

"I fucked a girl for 1 hour and 45 seconds tonight Thanks daylight savings"

"I totally owned the mosh pit at the One Direction concert last night."

"There are so many old jokes on this subreddit... Want to hear a new one? 1."

"Made a pizza today with Indian bread It was like Naan other"

"I'm not sure, but if I died in your arms tonight, that makes you a suspect. At the very least."