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Joke of the Day

"I've never been offered money for sex. Never been offered money to not have sex either. So there's that."

"A Family Walks Into A Hotel... The Father walks up to the front desk and says ""I hope the porn is disabled"" The man at the desk replies ""no, it's just regular porn you sick cunt"""

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!"

"How do you know if your neighbor is gay? His dick tastes like shit"

"Q: What weapon is most feared by knights? A: A can opener."

"What's red and silver and bumps in to walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes."

"What do you call a coin featuring the image of a spaceship and a rooster? Badmintin' (P.s. I'm sorry, this is terrible)"

"They told me i had type A blood. But it was a type O."

"What do you call Japanese people that fly planes? Pirates."

"I shit my pants the other day. Which is funny, because I don't remember eating them."