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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load into it. #bigsorry"

"guys calm down squirrels invented parkour"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was going to... Al's Toybarn!"

"Diner: Why are the waiters in here so nasty? Waiter: Look at who they have to serve."

"I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my Granddad in that concentration camp during the war... Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion..."

"What kind of drugs to tumblr users take? Anti-oppressants."

"when she gives me her autograph I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!"

"Just finished a chat via text msg in which the girl finished every single sentence with ""lol"". It was draining lol. Wanna kill myself lol."

"u kno how we have burger king do u think in italy they have spaghetti king"

"What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor? A dog with pawlitical experience."